The Wheels of the Bureaucratic Train is a Churning…ever so slowly…

It never seizes to amaze me that this adoption process is so slow.   There is an orphan   ---many orphan children that are waiting for their forever family, and the US Government is processing a file to approve me so that we can travel, etc.  Adoption families get very frustrated because all we want is our children.

Let me explain.  At the beginning of this process I had to file a paper called I800A with Homeland Security, because International Adoption is under that agency.

 Basically the I800A is a   pre-approval to Petition to classify an adoptee as an immediate Relative.  – OK, fine, they want to see homestudy, and the license of the agencies, that they comply with the Hague Convention, and a pile paperwork  to deem that we are following the Hague guidelines—I get it. 

The Hague Convention is something that is in place for   countries to follow for International Adoption. This created  many more steps and hoops to jump thru.   I won’t bore you, but you can read all about it at http://adoption.state.gov/hague_convention.php

Now China has approved me, and we file a I800 – basically same information plus the approval from China.   It took them 10 days for Homeland Security to approve me.  Everyone I dealt with at in this department was extremely nice and had lots of empathy.  My assigned officer kept telling me that she sees it in the system, but it had not gotten to her yet….     It took 10 days.

  So my I800 was approved on June 26^th.  This information is cabled to NVC( National Visa Center)  and they issue a GUZ #, which is then sent to the embassy and China officials (as far as I can tell).  This allows us to get a consulate appointment with the US Embassy in China to be sworn in. –This is the last day of our time in China. From there we work backwards and we work with our adoption agency in the states to get travel dates, and the appointments with the Chinese side of the fence…… WHEW…. It actually sounds a lot more complicated than it is.  It is a well oiled machine that rarely falters.

At this point, every day seems like an eternity.  I have been working on this since end of September 2011, and I am ready to have this little one home.   I am taking bets…. My thought is we will have our Consulate Appointment (or CA as we call it) end of August.  This means we need to travel around the 2^nd week in August, because the schedule looks something like this:

 Beijing for 3-4 days, and then….

  
Sunday--Arrive Hefei, Anhui Province

Monday--Gotcha Day

Tuesday--Apply for Adoption Registration/notary/Chinese passport

Wednesday--City tour (optional, additional fee)

Thursday--Visit the orphanage (optional, additional fee)

Friday--Fly to Guangzhou

Saturday--Medical Exam/TB test

Sunday--Paperwork review for the consulate appointment

Monday--TB Result

Tuesday or Wednesday--consulate appointment/swear-in ceremony

Wednesday or Thursday-Pick up immigrant visa (depart Guangzhou after 7 pm or depart the next morning)

SOOOOO... what is your bet?

Frenzy Time

If you follow my posts on Facebook , you know I am feeling rather overwhelmed right now.   We DID receive the Letter of Acceptance from the China side.  This means that they deem me able to mother this child. This sheet of paper sets EVERYTHING in motion.  Until you get the LOA, you can’t do anything, and you wait.  But now I get to apply for travel visas to travel, you apply for the I-800, which you have to file with the Homeland security. This approval makes the child an immediate relative to you –Basically an approval to adopt.  There was another form I had to send in, and you have a short window to get everything else in order before they tell you when you have to be in China. 
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There is more paperwork and forms in between but to simplify …..

So what am I doing in this window of time before I travel?   Well, I decided to refinance my house, I haven’t done a thing to get the little ones room ready, so I am scrambling there.  I have 200+ projects at work I am trying to close, so that no one B*(^es about me leaving them hanging.   I am taking 12 weeks off work under the FLMA (yes that does mean no pay) and trying to fine tune my finances, etc. Its summer so I am making sure H is having a good summer, and is not neglected either. 

So,  yes its bit of a frenzy right now… and I do at times feel a bit overwhelmed.   But all in all I  am having a great time – and at the end the most important thing that both H and the little one feel safe, and loved.

Just some thoughts late one night...

As I can’t sleep tonight, and my mind wonders far over the ocean to a little girl I have never met, yet love with all my heart. I wonder if she is aware of the adoption.   I pray that the Orphanage or her foster parents are preparing her at least a little.....

The changes coming in her life are immense.  Imagine if you will being taken away from all that you know ( good or bad) smells,  surroundings,  "family" ( whether orphanage or foster) .  A five year old child can only comprehend so much.  My heart hurts thinking about what she may /will be going thru. I felt the same way when  H was adopted, and it left a profound mark on me.  The little one is much older, than H was, and has 5 years of life experiences.  I cannot ignore that, because I have to accept the holistic child and understand that actions and reactions that I may experience with her is part of who she is already becoming.  The   guide  to new behavior will have to take all of that into account.


 The first time I saw the little one's picture, I fell in love.  Now that we have our LOA,  I can’t' stop thinking about her, and of course how this little one will change our lives.  I guess you can say that I am in my 9th month  as all new mothers , whether giving birth or adoption,  feel a certain bit of anxiety of the newest arrival.   We are all so ready to have our little ones in our arms, and we are so tired of waiting and all the questions from well meaning friends and family, we are just ready to be at home with them.

 I have been thinking a great deal about our first year knowing that it will probably be especially hard. A 5 year old comes with much already learned.  Don't kid yourself -it will be difficult.  I think about the language barrier, getting two kids ready for school, I think about homework and soccer practice and all the "stuff" all over the house with two girls.  I think about picking up from school, and working all day and what ifs....  All that silly stuff that will take care of itself once we get home and establish a routine.

If you know me, you know that I  am fairly well organized, and that  have a plan for the plan.  I am also a bit of a worrier, though with age I have gotten better. (OK maybe not.. I just hide it better) 
  I have learned thru the last couple of years to let certain things go, and hand them over to HIM.
 
  My prayers are that we ALL adjust to each other, and that we mesh well.   I pray that H and her little sister take care of each other, and that both girls never feel resentful towards each other or me.   I pray that the little one feels safe and learns to trust us, and knows how much she is loved.  I pray that I make good choices for her medical needs as we learn about it all thru the wonderful people at Scottish Rite and Children's.   I think the list of prayer request is long, and I feel a little greedy asking for all of this.  I typically pray for patience in general ... rarely do I ask for specifics... I guess today I am. 

I have so much to be thankful for.... I know I do, and I am.  As I sit here and write this, I think about and am overwhelmed at the support of my friends and family.  I know that some do not agree with my choice to adopt again, especially as an "older mom" and a single mom, but even the skeptics in my circle support me because they care about H and I... I cannot put into words how appreciative I am....
I am very, very blessed. 

Why You May Ask.....

 Note:  The post dated June 21, 2012 Titled “Why You May Ask” was written  long before the LOA arrived.    It’s a bit out of order, but you get the idea.  It was saved, and am just publishing some of  my posts.



I have not "announced" my adoption. I have not received an official Letter of Acceptance from China (LOA) so I am a little hesitant to announce to the world that I am adding to my family.  Of course along the way I have shared it with friends, some family, colleagues.

Every child deserves to be someone's blessing.  Families adopt for a multitude of reasons. Some believe they had a higher calling, some believe they are saving a child.  In a way, I guess we all share some of that, but my reason is pretty basic. In my heart, I have never felt my family was complete.

Years ago, when I was much younger (and foolish some would say), I wanted 6 children. Then I decided I wanted 4. Years later I was blessed with my H, and very, very thankful for one.  It doesn’t mean that the ache in your heart goes away when you see a family with more than one child there is a bit of sadness that comes along with that. Don’t get me wrong, I, like many mothers, have days that I don't want to be a mom, and the commercial "Calgon Take Me Away" comes to mind....

Yes, I have been told I was crazy.  After all I am an “older mom”, single and why would I want to mess up my life?   

In my heart, I know that this child is my daughter; I have calmness about adopting a second child.   Am I worried about getting two kids dressed in the morning, or how to get to two places at once, or any of the other things that can occur with having more than one child…YOU BET. 

I have been told many times in the last few months that I have never taken the easy road.    I do things on my own time line, and my own way.  Thinking about this, I do think that there is truth to that.  There has been much self actualization in the last few years, and I have come to accept that I am not a conformist, and I am a bit unconventional.   My grandmother at one point told my mother that I was a strange child.  I think I have grown into myself in the last few years, and am comfortable with whom I am.  I know my strengths and my weaknesses, and I know that this child is a gift that is a blessing beyond imagination.

So celebrate  this child, daughter and sister of ours with H and I.

An Observation...

The last several weeks as I have been driving into work, I have noticed an overwhelming number of temporary tags.  Here in Texas, we get these paper tags when we buy a new or used car.  Maybe I am noticing this, because   I REALLY want a new car...Did say I really wanted a new car... I really want a new car. As I am driving to work in the mornings I notice these cars, because at this point I am not sure what I want when I am ready to put down my cash for a new one.   This process will take about a year before I make the move to actually go into a dealership and buy.  By the time I am ready, I will have settled on 3 to test drive, haggle and will decide on one, in less than a day.  But to get there can be painful.

So all these new cars on the road has me wondering... Has the economy picked up and I was left behind?  Is it the time of year? ... Right after tax refunds start arriving, or the bonuses for first quarter have been paid out.   The cars I am seeing are all 30K+ cars...... Or... I know... we haven’t spent any money in so long so now all of us are saying what the heck, the "new economy" is what it is and ... I NEED a new car and I am going to buy what I want.

I have always been into cars.  Funny, my practical side comes thru when it comes to cars.  I dream of buying a sports car, but at the end... I won’t, because I can’t bring myself to break outside my box and take the leap. I drive my cars for an average of 8-10 years...so sad.   The other option is of course a lease.  This way I can get a new car every 3 years or so.... but once again the practical tight wad in me can't do it...

So what is a girl to do?  Well, I keep dreaming, and with two girls I will end up with a larger than I would like car, that will give us the space we need. NO-- I am not buying a van, that is where I draw the line, I can't do it.  I am not coming over to the dark side.

So the next year my friends will hear me talk about cars, and more cars, and more cars.  This is my process of eliminating the makes and models that I don’t like, are way too expensive, and ahem... not practical.  But at the end, I will prevail.   I will get a car that suits me and my two girls..... Probably end of 2013...... So welcome to the year of reviewing cars with me.....Aren't you excited?