Friday, September 14, 2012

Its Been A Week...


Its been a week.  Typically we say this if it has been an awful,  cant wait to go home and crawl into bed type of week.  Well… it has been an eventful week.  As I write this, and look up to the clock, I realize it has been exactly a week that we landed back in the USA.  A wonderful set of friends and their kids greeted us at the airport with balloons and gifts for both H and “Little One”.  We had been on the go for 30 hours, slept very little, yet both girls were smiling,  and happy and I was humbled that friends made us feel so very welcome.

I cannot put into words my feelings. I have tried all week.  I have so much going thru my heart and mind. I look at both my girls and feel as if they have been mine forever. My heart sings when I hear H say   “mom Little One did…”It sounds kind of funny, but I have wanted this for so long, and I have prayed and waited patiently until it was right, and my path lead me where I am today. 

 Imagine a child at 5 years old, being ( in her eyes)  turned over to complete strangers.  All smells, food, people are completely foreign.  Yet this little one has managed to crawl into everyone’s heart that has met her.  She has grieved heavily.  In the mornings especially she has had big alligator tears, and lots of kicking me and scratching and lots of screaming.   I understand.  My heart  breaks, yet tonight she crawled up on my lap, called me mommy and held my hand while her and I watched a princess movie.

The week had its challenges.    Much of the frustration has come from the lack of being able to communicate.  She chatters in Chinese, I try to figure out what she wants, and we all get it wrong.  Google Translator has been a great help and has helped us get some of the basics across.  I keep thinking, “Has it only been a week?”  .  Today she repeated everything I said, and started using the words correctly when I asked her a question…. AMAZING!

We are all learning about each other. H is learning what it means to be a big sister. (This will be another post- but I am so very proud of her) . Little One is learning new routines, being very 5 and pushing boundaries, and really does not liking the word no. (I try not to say No, unless it’s a danger situation. ) I usually say “please don’t. “  It’s just as powerful with a full voice.  She is learning to trust, and attach and the dynamics of this little family.  I am learning her personally, her needs,  her vulnerabilities.  She is strong willed, smart and can be very affectionate. 
I am trying to keep her safe,  to  balance two girls needs,  to love each as individuals and to make sure I take care of myself.

Thank you friends for ALL the love and support, prayers that have come our way.  I truly believe that this made the difference… we are doing amazingly well I think!


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